Harry Potter  Facebook
by rainbowrainingkitten
Summary: I know there are a few of these around, basically after the war, Harry Potter characters get Facebook! Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione. Just for your entertainment! Enjoy! Slightly AU
1. In which Harry kills Voldemort

_Upon some PM requests I thought I'd write this for a little bit of fun!_

Review please

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>Not every day you kill Voldemort :) Ah well, all in a good day's work. Next up...I don't have a clue.

**Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley and 14 others like this.**

**Harry Potter Draco Malfoy** bet you wish you'd sided with me seven years ago now ;)

**Draco Malfoy **Shut up Scarhead, I'd never go near a wannabe like you.

**Pansy Parkinson likes this.**

**Ginny Weasley and Dean Thomas are in a relationship.**

**Parvarti Patil, Lavender Brown and three others like this.**

**Ron Weasley** DISLIKE

**Harry Potter **DISLIKE

**Hermione Granger **you two broke up ages ago!

**Harry Potter and Ron Weasley like this.**  
><strong><br>Ginny Weasley **Dean! TAKE THAT STATUS OFF RIGHT NOW!

**Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley and Luna Lovegood like this.**

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>want a sandwich.

**Ron Weasley **me too.

**Hermione Granger **Thinking about your stomachs at a time like this; charming.

**Professor Flitwick likes this.**

**Ginny Weasley ****Hermione Granger **I don't think you intended to make that pun.

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><p><strong>Ginny Weasley uploaded one new photo: 'What the Boy-Who-Lived does when he's relaxing'<strong>

**Ron Weasley: **Ahahahahaha Harry's drooling!

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **like you do when you look at Hermione.

**Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Fred Weasley and George Weasley like this.  
><strong>  
><strong>Cho Chang: <strong>Aww you're so cute Harrykins!  
><strong><br>****Harry Potter **kill me now.

**Ginny Weasley **gladly.

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>Who knows how fast this year's gonna go?

**Ron Weasley **Hand me a glass let the Butterbeer flow!

**Harry Potter **Hopefully this year I won't have to talk to Cho!

**Ginny Weasley likes this.**

**Cho Chang Ginny Weasley** you're just jealous, GryffinDORK.

**Ginny Weasley **I wonder how you got sorted into the house for CLEVER people.

**Hermione Granger likes this.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Harry Potter uploaded one new photo: "Ron's Pygmy Puff"<strong>

**Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger and 14 others like this.**

**Ginny Weasley** LMAO Ron! I'm just glad it wasn't where Hermione hoped it was.

**Hermione Granger **Hey! Don't be disgusting! I do not! Ahem...never mind.

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **LOL Ginny, do you think they've done it?

**Ron Weasley **HARRY!

**Ginny Weasley **Ahem. You didn't deny it.

**Harry Potter likes this.**

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><p><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>Knock Knock

**Harry Potter **Who's there?

**Ron Weasley **you know who

**Ginny Weasley **Avada Kedavra.

**Ron Weasley **cheers.

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><p><strong>Profile: Draco Malfoy<strong>

**Age: Seventeen and sexy as hell ;)**

**Hobbies: Fit girls.**

**Likes: Hot redheads, Astoria Greengrass, Purebloods.**

**Dislikes: Anything with round glasses.**

**About me: Well, if you know me, you know I'm a charmer. Every girl to see me is hooked with "The Smoulder".**  
><strong>I'm a natural blonde, and completely your type.<br>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

**Harry Potter Draco Malfoy **Hot redheads? Like any hot girl would go out with you.

**Ginny Weasley **Draco darling, every guy has the right to be ugly but you abused the privilege. And your "Smoulder" did smoulder. If I hadn't hexed you the ugly mug would have smouldered my face off.  
><strong><br>****Draco Malfoy Get the hell off my profile page, She-Weasel. And you, Potter.**

**H****ermione Granger **For a charmer, Draco, you sure didn't get many OWLs.

**Ron Weasley Hermione Granger **what is it with you and Charms puns?

**Draco Malfoy **Did I invite you, Mudblood, onto my page? Or you, She-Weasel (or Simpleton Weasley with a wig on)

**Ginny Weasley **Draco, a pretty girl can kiss a guy a bird can kiss a butterfly the rising sun can kiss the grass but you, Malfoy, yes YOU, can KISS MY ASS.

**21 people like this.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>I will not bring a magic 8 ball to Divination class.

**13 people like this.**

**Harry Potter **I will not ask Hufflepuffs if they are covered in bees.

**Ginny Weasley **I will not jinx Draco Malfoy's broomstick. Again.

**Pansy Parkinson **you evil little Friend of Mudblood!

**Harry Potter **I will not tell Pansy Parkinson she looks like a pug.

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><p><strong>Hermione Granger <strong>RONALD WEASLEY! DID YOU BREAK MY HOGWARTS, A HISTORY?

**Ron Weasley **am hiding from my girlfriend under the stairs.

**Ginny Weasley **you really are a stupid prat, Ron.

**Harry Potter likes this.**

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><p><strong>Ginny Weasley has changed her relationship status to "Single"<strong>

**Harry Potter likes this.**

**Ron Weasley** tell me you don't still fancy Ginny?

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **charming, Ron. Oi, Potter.

**Harry Potter **yeah :)

**Hermione Granger **which question was he saying yeah to?

**Harry Potter **you tell me. *wink*

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><p>This was purely for your own entertainment! Review please, will carry on if you want. :)<p> 


	2. In which Ginny OWNS Ron

_I'm really pleased with the response you guys gave me over this story!_

Now to answer some questions:

la la la - I feel really bad about the long wait last time, but I promise it will be soon I update. I am currently working on it - at most the wait will be about...Sunday. Is that ok? I'm touched you like my story!

merdarkandtwisty - in my story, none of them are at school! If you remember, Hogwarts is half destroyed. Also I will NEVER kill Fred. I love him too much.

I WILL NEVER KILL FRED!

On with the story...**review please**. :)

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><p><strong>Profile: Harry James Potter (and proud of it)<strong>

**Age: Seventeen**

**Hobbies: Killing bad guys, saving the world :) snogging Ginny ;)**

**Likes: The Weasleys (especially one) Hermione (as a friend, Herms) Quidditch, flying.**

**Dislikes: Anything with greasy blonde hair. Beginning with D. Or M.**

**About me: My eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toaaaad, my hair is as dark as a blackboaaaard, you want to be mine, I'm really diviiiiiine...the Boy who conquered the daaaaark looooooord :)  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<strong>

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter** the one you like more had better be ME!

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **don't kid yourself.

**Hermione Granger **I AM NOT HERMS!

**Ginny Weasley Harry Potter **You jerk! Besides...it uh...wasn't me who wrote that...um...Valentine.

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **Sure it wasn't.

**Ginny Weasley **Potterhead.

**Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger like this.**

**Luna Lovegood **Interesting. Dean says on his profile he likes snogging Ginny too.

**Ginny Weasley **DISLIKE

**Harry Potter **DISLIKE

**Ron Weasley **DISLIKE

**Dean Thomas likes this.**

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><p><strong>Hermione Granger Ron Weasley <strong>stop singing that absurd song, it hurts my ears.

**Harry Potter **THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE TOTALLY AWESOME!

**Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley **control your boyfriend.

**Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger **he's not my boyfriend...he's Cho's.

**Harry Potter **yeah on the fourth of NEVER.

**Ginny Weasley **ahem! Cue the song in five, four, three two one...

**Cho Chang **CHO CHANG! DOMO ARIGATO! CHO CHANG, GUNG HEY FAT CHOY CHANG, HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR, CHOOOOO CHANG!

**Ginny Weasley **DISLIKE

**Harry Potter **DISLIKE

**Cho Chang **but this is the part where you say I'm perfect! Harryyyyykins!

**Harry Potter **Or, let's skip to the part where Cedric comes in!

**Cho Chang **CEDRIC! Noooooooo! My beautiful sparkling vampire!

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><p><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>I'm Hungary

**Harry Potter **maybe you should Czech the fridge

**Ginny Weasley **he's Russian to the kitchen

**Harry Potter **maybe you will find some Turkey.

**Ron Weasley **I have but it has a layer of Greece on it.

**Ginny Weasley **Eww, there is Norway you can eat that!

**Ron Weasley **I think I'll settle for a can of Chile.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **That sounds appetising, I would like a Canada Chile as well.

**Ginny Weasley Harry Potter **Denmark your name on the can.

**24 people like this.**

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><p><strong>Neville Longbottom <strong>Luna's middle name should be "Does"

**Hannah Abbot Neville Longbottom **and the second half of your last name should change too ;)

**4 people like this.**

**Ginny Weasley** TMI.

**Hermione Granger Neville Longbottom **I certainly hope Hannah's line was a joke...

**Neville Longbottom **:)

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><p><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>sick of disgusting Mudbloods and She-Weasels swanning around...

**Ginny Weasley **yeah, we love you too. Not.

**Edward Cullen **I wish we could all get along like in middle school...I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would be happy if they ate it... :(

**Ginny Weasley **who the hell are you?

**Draco Malfoy **he doesn't even go to Hogwarts!

**Harry Potter **do you even go here?

**Edward Cullen **no. I'm just sparkly. And have a lot of feelings.

**Harry Potter **go home.

**Ginny Weasley likes this.**

**Cho Chang Edward Cullen** you are so beautiful! Be mine!

**Ron Weasley **They're going to have sparkly babies.

**12 people like this.**

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><p><strong>Profile: Ginny (Ginevra, but I will hex anyone who calls me that) Weasley<strong>

**Age: Sixteen**

**Hobbies: LMAO, Hanging with Hermione, owning Ron/Harry/Malfoy/Chang, Quidditch, flying, NOT writing songs about Harry**

**Likes: my friends, flying, Quidditch, Facebook, hexing people**

**Dislikes: Ginevra (STUPID name) Malfoy, Cho Chang, de-gnoming, Ron (just kidding...I think.) Creepy sparkling vampires.**

**About me:long red hair, brown eyes, amazing humor, single.**

**Ron Weasley** why thanks Ginny. Glad to know you dislike me.

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **kiss my ass, Ronald...on second thoughts...if you do a Lavender on me...no thanks. Or a Hermione. Don't think I didn't hear/see you guys last night.

**Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley **What? I don't know WHAT you're talking about!

**Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger **oh, you know, when you were casually feeling eachother up.

**Harry Potter likes this.**

**Dean Thomas** you aren't single Ginny! *Hint hint*

**Ginny Weasley Dean Thomas **Well if I was double it wouldn't be with you.

**5 people like this.**

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><p><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>Contrary to popular belief, I do not want Hermione Granger and a rocket ship.

**Ginny Weasley **With a head like yours, you wouldn't fit in the ship.

**Draco Malfoy Ginny Weasley **get out of my face, Weasel.

**Hermione Granger **as if I'd go with you even if you did want me.

**Draco Malfoy **I know how to please my women!

**Ginny Weasley Draco Malfoy **good then please leave me alone.

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><p><strong>Harry Potter uploaded one new photo: "Molly's Wrath"<strong>

**Ron Weasley** HEY! TAKE THAT OFF! It's embarrassing!

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **what's so bad about you being mega-killed by Mum for the whole world to see?

**Ron Weasley **I'm wearing a maroon jumper.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **I'm loving the dirt smudge on your nose.

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><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>Draco Malfoy just liked his own comment.

**Harry Potter **narcissist.

**Ginny Weasley Harry Potter **what's even worse was that it involved Hermione and a rocket ship.

**Hermione Granger **I love how everyone is discussing me, Malfoy and a rocket ship.

**Ron Weasley Hermione Granger **I don't.

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **if you're going to flirt shamelessly, please do it elsewhere.

**Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **you can talk! You've been flirting with Harry! WHO HAPPENS TO BE MY BEST MATE!

**Ginny Weasley **not what it says in his profile...

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **want to grab a Butterbeer?

**Ron Weasley **Yeah!

**Luna Lovegood **count me in!

**Hermione Granger **I'll be in the library.

**Romilda Vane **oh Harry darling, I'd love to get a Butterbeer with you...

**Ginny Weasley **DISLIKE

**Hermione Granger **DISLIKE

**Ginny Weasley **Sure Harry. Only next time don't announce it where crazy obsessive Harry lovers are near.

**Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **then he wouldn't be able to announce it near you!

**3 people like this.**

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley** "Harry Potter the one you like more had better be me".

**Harry Potter likes this.  
><strong>**  
>Harry Potter <strong>no need to fight over me.

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><p><strong>Harry Potter has changed his relationship status to "Single but having a Butterbeer with Ginny"<strong>

**Ron Weasley** oh here we go again.

**Hermione Granger Ron Weasley **shut up Ron!

**Ron Weasley Hermione Granger **nice to know you love me.

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **love you? Well she was certainly all over you last night :) Romione forever!

**Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley **Romione? Oh Ron, we have to call our first child that!

**Ron Weasley **GINNY!

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><p><strong>Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger are in a relationship.<strong>

**121 people like this.**

**Ginny Weasley **YES! HAHAAHAHA HARRY YOU OWE ME TEN GALLEONS!

**Harry Potter Hermione Granger **you could have waited another day and I would have won. But no.

**Ron Weasley Hermione Granger **we are not calling any child we may have Romione.

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **may or may not? She's pregnant.

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **Ron is currently having a heart attack.

**Ginny Weasley **oh don't worry, she isn't. I just wanted to see the look on his face because I'm uploading a picture onto Facebook.

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><p><strong>Review please! Hope you liked, more soon!<strong>

RRK


	3. In which Voldemort returns

p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"emYayyy! Really pleased you like this! 16 reviews :) hoping to reach 30 *hint hint*/em/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"la la la - what if is coming your way v.v. soon, I have started it and almost finished the next chapter.p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongemVOLDEMORT IS MAKING A SURPRISE APPEARANCE!em/strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongVoldemort Harry Potter strongI hate you./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Voldemort strongYou started it, walking around, leaving scars./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley Voldemort strongHow do you even have FB? You're dead./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongVoldemort Ron Weasley strongagain, you show the remedial side of yourself. I heard your family can't afford soap!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Voldemort strongDude, yours can't afford a nose job./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter and Ron Weasley like this.strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Harry Potter strongnever again do we speak of that incident./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Ginny Weasley strongSure thing./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley strongI promise./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger strongme too./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley strongHARRY!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter strongsorry! They got it out of me. :(/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger Ginny Weasley strongwere you planning on telling me about this?/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Hermione Granger strongwhy would I tell you? It was so embarrassing!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger Ginny Weasley strongwell it isn't every day you see your best friend snogging your other best friend's sister who is also your best friend in a closet./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley Harry Potter strongWHAT? YOU WERE SNOGGING MY SISTER IN A CLOSET?/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger Ron Weasley strongI thought you knew!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley strongwe were talking about something else before! About Ginny sleepwalking and eating Mum's entire stash of chocolate./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger Ginny Weasley strongoops...guess your secret is out... :)/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Hermione Granger strongIt was just a snog./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley Harry Potter strongYou better not be just messing my sister around./p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter and Ginny Weasley are in a relationship (heart)strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasleystrong Ewww./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Ron Weasley strongThat's what I think when I see you eat./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger strongfinally. I thought you two were going to lust after eachother for ever. Take a leaf out of my book - if the boy's clueless, treat him mean to keep him keen./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Hermione Granger strongYou dark horse!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Ginny Weasley strongI have a girlfriend :)/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongCho Chang strongHOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strong1 person likes this.strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter strongI WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORTH!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Harry Potter strongand just hit me in the eye./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Ginny Weasley strongsorry :) I have eye protection.../p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongVoldemort strongDISLIKE/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley Voldemort strongyou're just jealous because you can only whip your scalp back and forth./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley strongPWNED./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strong21 people like this.strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley uploaded one new photo "The Funniest Thing Ever"strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGeorge Weasley Ron Weasleystrong OI! Take that off! Nobody can see me looking that scared!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley George Weasley strongif you hadn't turned my hair purple I wouldn't have screamed at you./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGeorge Weasley strongyeah but I look petrified of my baby sis!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter George Weasley strongSo am I...beware her wrath./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Harry Potter strongyou weren't saying that in the closet ;)/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley strongDISLIKE/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGeorge Weasley strongDISLIKE/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDraco Malfoy strongwant to make some magic together? My wand is at the ready/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Draco Malfoy strongrevolting pig./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDraco Malfoy Ginny Weasley strongJealous, Ginevra?/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Draco Malfoy strongwhy would she be jealous when she has a snogging-buddy like me?/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDraco Malfoy Ginny Weasley strongUnlike Potter, I have no invisibility cloak, but can I visit your restricted section tonight? After all, Myrtle was just Myrtle before I came along./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Harry Potter strongSave me!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Ginny Weasley strongI think you can manage this one :)/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Draco Malfoy strongget out of my face before I break your ugly sharp nose./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley Draco Malfoy strongstop harassing my sister. She's taken./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Draco Malfoy strongMaybe you can "Slither-in" someone else's goodbooks...if they haven't heard about the brain transplant and the brain rejecting you.../p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strong3 people like this.strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongProfile: lUnA lOvEgOoDstrong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongAge: 16strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHobbies: Hunting for Crumple-Horned-Snorkacks, matchmaking, tricking people, throwing snow at Goyle.strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongLikes: Myself, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Ron. Daddy. People thinking I'm clever.strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDislikes: Draco Malfoy. Snape. People with moustaches. (They scare me.)strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongAbout me: My glass of life is not half full or half empty. It's full. :) I know everything about everybody and I'm here to help you help yourself.strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley strongLuna :)/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDraco Malfoy strongUgh, not the idiotic lunatic./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongNeville Longbottom Draco Malfoy strongShut up. At least Luna doesn't resemble a dog with rabies./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDraco Malfoy strongI AM NOT GOING OUT WITH PANSY PARKINSON!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Draco Malfoy strongyou came up with that one on your own./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDraco Malfoy strongat least my brother isn't dating a Mudblood./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley strongyou don't have a brother. Your parents learned from their first mistake./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strong23 people like this.strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongProfile: Ron Weasleystrong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongAge: 17strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHobbies: Quidditch...um...being with Hermione...yeah...uh, killing Death Eaters...strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongLikes: Hermionestrong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongDislikes: Viktor Krum. Seeing my little sister snogging my best friend.strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongAbout me: I love Hermione. And Quidditch. And um...yeah...strong/p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger strongOh Ron! That's really sweet :)/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley Harry Potter strongpass me the sick bag. Please./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter Ginny Weasley strongsorry I'm using it myself./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongLuna Lovegood strongJudging by your sexual activity rate, Rose should be conceived soon./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongGinny Weasley strongWHAT/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHarry Potter strongwhat the hot redhead said!/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongHermione Granger strongI do like the name Rose./p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRon Weasley Hermione Granger strongNot quite yet./p  
>hr style="margin: 5px 0px; border: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px; background: -webkit-gradient(linear, 0% 100%, 100% 100%, from(rgb(255, 255, 255)), color-stop(0.1, rgb(203, 203, 203)), color-stop(0.9, rgb(203, 203, 203)), to(rgb(255, 255, 255))) rgb(203, 203, 203);" noshade="noshade" size="1"   
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongReview please! More reviews, more chapters, quicker updates!strong/p  
>p style="max-height: 999999px; font-family: 'Open Sans', Verdana, 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.800000190734863px;"strongRRK xxstrong/p 


	4. In which Cullen gets PWNED

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **closet, this afternoon, :)  
><strong>Ginny Weasley Harry Potter <strong>sure thing ;)  
><strong>Ron Weasley Hermione Granger<strong>...?  
><strong>Hermione Granger <strong>Ronald! How dare you suggest I would sink to such a level like snogging in a closet?  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>hypocrite.  
><strong>20 people like this.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Ginny Weasley uploaded one new photo: "I rest my case"<strong>  
><strong>Draco Malfoy<strong> really going to town on Granger, aren't you, Carrot-Head?  
><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>get the hell of this photo page, Malfoy.  
><strong>Draco Malfoy Hermione Granger <strong>you seem to be...enjoying it a lot...  
><strong>Harry Potter Draco Malfoy <strong>at least Ron can actually get a girlfriend without begging.  
><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>I have the most beautiful girl at my beck and call.  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>I have Ginny. Not you.  
><strong>Ron Weasley Harry Potter <strong>Oi! I was going to impress Hermione with that line! The hero always gets to win. What about his loyal (handsome) sidekick?  
><strong>Harry Potter Ron Weasley <strong>you snooze you lose, mate. Cough cough Viktor Krum cough cough.  
><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>Hermione never liked him anyway. Did you, Hermione?  
><strong>Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley <strong>I don't think she should answer that.

* * *

><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>I was ecstatic to wake up and find my hair green this morning. Would the guilty party like to own up? I have a little blood quill waiting for them.  
><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>NOT ME!  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>NOT ME!  
><strong>Percy Weasley <strong>Really Ginevra, would I do something so immature?  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>remember I have dirt on every one of you.  
><strong>Bill Weasley <strong>nah, she doesn't. Don't worry, we're safe.  
><strong>Ginny Weasley Bill Weasley <strong>I bet Mum would be interested to know_ why _she found Fleur's underwear in the bathroom along with your undergarments. And Ronniekins, I wonder what you and Hermione are doing in the closet...  
><strong>Ron Weasley<strong> OK, OWN UP, WHO DID IT?  
><strong>Charlie Weasley <strong>umm...Ginny...don't be mad...but my spell kind of backfired...uhh...yeah...  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>Oh dear, I'm running out of places to hide bodies...  
><strong>12 people like this.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>finished killing Charlie :)  
><strong>Harry Potter Charlie Weasley <strong>how bad was it?  
><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>oh Charlie can't type right now. He's kind of been...Ginnied.  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>don't get on her bad side...fortunately I'm in her very very good books ;)  
><strong>Hermione Granger Ron Weasley <strong>I've just had a very interesting email from Viktor.  
><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>hiding from Hermione under Harry's bed.  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>Hang on, Hermione, that's mean. Ron isn't stupid, he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>RIP Mum and Dad, tomorrow's Halloween.  
><strong>Justin Bieber <strong>wait...some dude killed your mom and dad?  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>yeah...wait aren't you the Beaver with the girly voice?  
><strong>Ginny Weasley Harry Potter <strong>behold the not so proud owner of the "baby baby baby" song...my cat was sick when she was subjected to it.  
><strong>Justin Bieber Harry Potter<strong> never say never, dude.  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>...kind of scared...Ginny, hold me. :(  
><strong>Voldemort Justin Bieber <strong>don't worry, Potter. He's next.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter Ginny Weasley <strong>were you just talking to Edward Cullen?  
><strong>Ginny Weasley Harry Potter <strong>he's stalking me :(  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>He's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Edward Cullen. We were best friends (shudder) at the Triwizard Tournament when he was Cedric Diggory. I don't even...whatever. So then I started liking you, cause you are totally gorgeous, and he got, like, weirdly jealous of you. If I blew him off to hang out with you, he'd be all "why didn't you Floo me Harry?" and I'd be all "why are you so obsessed with me?" and yeah. Then for Bill's bachelor party, which was an all guy party, Bill felt he couldn't invite Ed 'cause he was obsessed with everyone. So then his sister called you and started yelling at you, remember? And Edward dropped out of school and cut off all his greasy hair and I guess now he's a sparkly vampire.  
><strong>Ginny Weasley likes this.<br>Hermione Granger **it's impossible for vampires to sparkle. Sanguini didn't sparkle, remember?

* * *

><p><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>well hello, my Slytherin sass. Remember our Burn Book?  
><strong>Blaise Zabini <strong>yes, of course! Shall we recap?  
><strong>Pansy Parkinson <strong>Neville Longbottom is a fat virgin  
><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>still half true.  
><strong>Astoria Greengrass <strong>Severus Snape - he made out with a hot dog.  
><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>oh and Bellatrix Lestrange-ONE!  
><strong>Astoria Greengrass <strong>who's the sparkly kid with her?  
><strong>Draco Malfoy <strong>oh I think it's that kid Cullen. He's almost too sparkly to function.

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>just found a delightful rap Cho Chang posted on the internet:  
>Ohhhh you sucker MC's ain't got nothin' on me, on my spells on my charms you can't touch Harry P! I'm the<br>Boy-Who-lived but wizard is preferred, forget what you heard I'm like Dumbledore the third with that awesome phoneix bird.  
><strong>56 people like this.<br>Hermione Granger **What...?  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>cho wrote it!  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>you can't touch Harry P...wanna bet?  
><strong>Harry Potter Ginny Weasley <strong>sure...;)  
><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>GINNY!  
><strong>Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley <strong>relax I was talking about snogging...;)

* * *

><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>I AM VERY OFFENDED! Mark Twain "There are people in this world that contribute society and people who think Harry Potter is real" HOW DARE HE! FML!  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>It's ok Harry...you'll live...  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>I AM FUMING!  
><strong>Voldemort <strong>forget Beaver, Twain's next...  
><strong>6 people like this.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>when Harry broke up for me for my safety, I restarted Dumbledore's Army with Neville and Luna, tried to steal the sword of Gryffindor and fought in the Battle of Hogwarts.  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>that's my girl.  
><strong>Bella Swan <strong>when (sob) Edward broke up with me for my safety, I was near comatose for months and purposely put myself in danger to hear his voice.  
><strong>Edward Cullen <strong>oh Bella! My love!  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>DISLIKE  
><strong>Harry Potter <strong>DISLIKE

* * *

><p>More soon :) review please! EEEEE I got 30 reviews just like I wished for, you guys are THE BEST.<p>

More reviews, more updates, quicker updates :) hoping for...45 reviews :) (from thirty, so fifteen) *hint hint*

RRK xxx


	5. In which Ron has a sandwich

It's kind of been a long time since I updated...sorry about that :S. But then I thought I should really start updating.

~RRK

* * *

><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>To the person that moved my sandwich out of the fridge and put theirs there instead: You. Are. An.  
>Arsehole.<br>But, unfortunately for you...  
>So. Am. I.<br>You can find your sandwich outside. In the snow. Any problems? Come see me in the Burrow. You might want to bring your wand.  
><strong><br>Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **HEY! THAT WAS MY SANDWICH!

**Harry Potter **Play nice, guys!

**Ron Weasley ****Harry Potter **SHE KILLED MY SANDWICH!

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **It's. A. Sandwich.

**Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **I'm telling Mummy.

* * *

><p><strong>Hermione Granger <strong>When I'm older, I'm going to go to Venus.

**Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger **When I'm older, I'm going to go to Mars.

**Ron Weasley Hermione Granger **When I'm older I'm going to go to the sun.

**Hermione Granger Ron Weasley **you'll get burned.

**Ron Weasley Hermione Granger **Don't be silly Hermione, I'll go at night!

**2,000,000 people like this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Edward Cullen <strong>Twilight rules!

**Harry Potter Edward Cullen **I'm sorry, WHAT?  
><strong><br>****Alice Cullen **Totally, Ed!

**Hermione Granger Edward Cullen **Technically, vampires cannot sparkle in the sun. It's not scientifically nor magically possible.

**Harry Potter Hermione Granger **Thank you, Hermione! At least we don't sparkle like bitches.

**Edward Cullen Harry Potter **At least _we _don't go around waving sticks like imbeciles, _Hairy _Potter.

**Ginny Weasley Edward Cullen **Fail. I mean seriously, more like TOILET, New BUFFOON, ESHIT and Breaking YAWN!

**5,000,000,000,000 people like this.**

**Edward Cullen Ginny Weasley** Your just jealous of us.

**Ginny Weasley Edward Cullen **Yeah, I'm really jealous of how you don't know proper grammar. It's YOU'RE.

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **Wooh, way to go GINNY! At least OUR fans don't literally drink blood for us.

**Alice Cullen Harry Potter **At least we have fans that actually ADMIRE us.

**Ron Weasley **Sorry I joined the convo late, guys. I just got off OUR rollercoaster.

**Voldemort Edward Cullen** PWNED.

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><p><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>**Harry Potter **did you ketch-up on all your work?

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **Yam I'm almost done

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Good because I've bean waiting.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **I know, sorry! I veal so bad.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **I soup-ose I can wait a little longer...

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **Can you get me some cough drops? Ice cream-ed because Hermione shouted at me. Now my throat hurts.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Um, you need to beet-tougher.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **I know, that's why my idol is Paul B-Onion.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Crap, I spilled coffee over my paperwork.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **That is a sinful term. You cannot commit a cinnamon to it.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **You're so judge-mint-all.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **I hope you grow a pear of antlers.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **...

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **What, couldn't think of a come baguette?

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Why don't you chicken the side of your head to see if you have a brain? And while you're at it, at least I didn't have a godfather whom was a cereal killer!

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **LEAVE SIRIUS OUT OF THIS!

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **go and wine about it then.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **This thyme your joke hurt.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **I'm sorry mate. I don't know what got into me. Lettuce make peas!

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **HMMMPH!

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **What do you want meat to do to make it up to you?

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **Buy Draco Malfoy a Cocoa-Chanel bag and let me watch his reaction.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **NO WAY! But I ham really sorry.

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **I don't know why, but suddenly miso hungry.

**1 person likes this.**

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><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>is wondering what happens to your Facebook when you die...

**Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **...

**Harry Potter Ginny Weasley **I'm going to get people to keep updating my status so it freaks others out! :D

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><p><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>To the person who stole my package: it's no surprise you needed to steal TWENTY ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER BECAUSE YOU MUST BE A GIGANTIC ARSEHOLE!

**Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **someone stole twenty rolls of toilet paper? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL!

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **Shut up Ronald, at least _I _don't run outside and lick frozen sandwiches.

**Harry Potter **You're both pretty. Ron, stop going on about your sandwich. Ginny...closet? :)

**Ginny Weasley Harry Potter **Umm, last I HEARD it was occupied. By the frequent camera clicking I deduced it was Dennis Creevey and Argus Filch.

**Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley **Excuse me while I go puke. (And look in the closet).

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><p><strong>Luna Lovegood <strong>comment your couple names below! Leville :) And Largles

**Harry Potter **Hinny! ;)

**Ginny Weasley **Hinny!

**Ron Weasley **Romione!

**Neville Longbottom **WTF Luna, cheating on me with Nargles?

**Seamus Finnegan **Savender!

**Dean Thomas **Dinny!

**Ginny Weasley Dean Thomas **EXCUSE ME? No! Just no!

**Hermione Granger **Hon! Or Romione! Or Heron! Or Hermon! Or Ronmione! Or Hermion! Or Hermioon!

**Voldemort **Lord Vagini :)

**Ron Weasley Voldemort **Bahahahahaha! LOL! How does that even WORK?

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><p><strong>Well, tell me what you think &amp; if you laughed! You guys are the best, 50 reviews! Hoping for 65? *Hint hint*<strong>

~RRK


	6. In which nobody NOSE about Voldemort

I'M BACK! After weeks and weeks! Sorry about that :S Thank you all so much for your supportive reviews, it really means a lot. As for my excuse for being away...blame that on drama.

**SLIGHT WARNING**- This chapter has one mention of drugs. Please do not think I am insensitive about drug use, but it was intended humourously only and not to cause offense to anyone. Please do not misunderstand.

Anyway, on with the story! :)

Review please :D ~RRK

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><p><strong>Bella Swan <strong>I hate it when people keep saying the awkward moment - guess what losers - nobody cares...**  
><strong>  
><strong>Ginny Weasley <strong>the awkward moment when nobody likes your status

**Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and 394 others like this.**

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><p><strong>Ron Weasley <strong>Fun fact of the day. On Facebook if you type in the word that is the same as your password Facebook automatically converts it to asterisks for your safety. See, my password is *************!

**Harry Potter likes this.**

**Draco Malfoy **myfatherwillhearaboutthis394

**Ron Weasley Draco Malfoy **thanks! :D

**Draco Malfoy Ron Weasley **I hate you, Weaselbee.

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>it's really starting to bug me now. I want to know what's happened to Voldemort's nose :(

**Hermione Granger Harry Potter **that is a good question, Harry.

**Harry Potter **even a Hufflepuff can't find it!

**3 people like this.**

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Nobody NOSE, Harry, where it went! BAHAHAHAHA

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **LOL GOOD ONE RON!

**Ginny Weasley Harry Potter **maybe it smelt his aftershave and dropped off!

**Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley **he probably made it a Horcrux, and that's why no-one can find it!

**Ron Weasley **he still would've been ugly with it on, so it doesn't matter!

**Harry Potter Ron Weasley **LOL SO TRUE!

**Voldemort Harry Potter **Come on guys! What have I ever done to you to make you treat me this way?

**Harry Potter **Um, I don't know. Maybe killed my parents, killed our friend.

**Voldemort Harry Potter **what if I started talking about you behind your back with MY gang?

**Ron Weasley Voldemort **Um, I think you already do that.

**Voldemort Ron Weasley **SILENCE GINGER. It is not nice to talk about people this way! I'm not ugly, I'm special! :)

**Ginny Weasley Voldemort **Very special. Normal person: :-) You: :)

**Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and 10 others like this.**

**Voldemort **SILENCE, FUTILE FREAK.

**Harry Potter Voldemort **Alright, no need to tear your HAIR out about it!

**Ron Weasley **BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Hermione Granger **BAHAHAHAHAHA

**Ginny Weasley **BAHAHAHAHAHA

**Voldemort **...I hate you all.

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><p><strong>Harry Potter is in a relationship with Ginny Weasley (heart)<br>**  
><strong>394,000 people like this.<strong>

**Hermione Granger **Congratulations guys! That's so sweet!

**Ron Weasley **Wait a second, you're dating my little sister?

**Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley **Don't attempt to tell me who I can or can't date, Ronald.

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **It's cool as long as there's...no...you know...snogging or stuff.

**Seamus Finnegan Harry Potter **Would this be a bad time to tell you I have the cream for over-snogging, Harry?

**Harry Potter **Um...YES!

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Oh it's cool, as long as there's no...touching...or stuff.

**Neville Longbottom **Then I guess I won't tell you about the time I caught them in the Quidditch changing rooms...

**Ginny Weasley **...Neville!

**Ron Weasley Harry Potter **Alright guys, I really set the line at 'all the way', okay?

**Dean Thomas Harry Potter **Harry, I have those handcuffs you asked for. ;)

**Ginny Weasley **...

**Hermione Granger **...

**Harry Potter **...

**Ron Weasley **Harry, I'm going to kill you!

**Dean Thomas likes this.**

**Voldemort **ATTA-BOY!

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><p><strong>Voldemort <strong>Has anyone seen my wand?

**Draco Malfoy Voldemort **My Lord, did you leave it on your dresser?

**Voldemort Draco Malfoy **no, I checked there :(. I checked everywhere! Is it at your house?

**Draco Malfoy **No, sorry...

**Lucius Malfoy Voldemort **Er...my Lord, buy a new one?

**Voldemort Lucius Malfoy **BUY A NEW ONE? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT WAND COST ME?

**Ron Weasley Voldemort **An arm and a leg?

**Voldemort **MORE!

**Ron Weasley Voldemort **A nose?

**Harry Potter and 31 others like this.**

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><p><strong>Voldemort <strong>NOBODY IS GETTING A HUG FROM ME FOR THE LOVE OF SALAZAR SLYTHERIN

**Draco Malfoy Voldemort **Why? That was the most euphoric sensation ever! :D

**Harry Potter **Can I have a hug?

**Ginny Weasley Voldemort **I want a hug too!

**B****ellatrix Lestrange Voldemort **hug me hug me hug me hug me hug me hug me hug me hug me

**Lucius Malfoy **I would also quite like a hug as well...my Lord...

**Dumbledore Voldemort **Don't forget me!

**Dementor **I'd gladly have a hug!?

**Aragog **me too!

**Bellatrix Lestrange ****Voldemort **HUG MEEEEEEEEEE

**Voldemort **NO GO AWAY I'M NOT THIS NICE GUY WHO GIVES OUT HUGS!

**Edward Cullen **HUG ME BABE XOXO

**Harry Potter **...

**Ron Weasley **...

**Ginny Weasley **...

**Hermione Granger **...

**Voldemort **Okay, everyone's getting a hug except him.

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>thhh thhh th thh thhhh tttthhh tttth thhht thhhhhhhht thh.

**Voldemort Harry Potter **thhh thhhh ttttttthhhhhhhh thhhh THHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TTTTTTTTTTTH!

**Nagini Harry Potter **thhhh thh th. Tthhhh ttttttttth?

**Harry Potter Nagini **Tthhhhhhhhh. Thhhhhh! Tttth thh THHHHHTHTHTH!

**Salazar Slytherin Nagini **Thhh thhh THHHHHH TH TH TH THHHH THTTTTH!

**Voldemort **Thhh thhht thtthhh thhh th!

**Harry Potter **...

**Nagini **...

**Salazar Slytherin **...

**Ron Weasley **WTF...?

**45 people like this.**

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>Oh Voldemort, smell these flowers! Oh...wait, you have no nose :S

**Voldemort Harry Potter **My forehead feels nice and smooth, no lightening bolt scar there!

**Harry Potter Voldemort **Voldemort, it's so nice to put your hand on your head and feel your hair! :)

**Voldemort Harry Potter **it's so nice to be able to sit down with your parents for some lunch.

**Ron Weasley **Yeah but your parents are dead, dude...

**Harry Potter **PWNED.

**15 people like this.**

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><p><strong>Harry Potter <strong>I'll make Voldy regret what he did to Cedric :(

**Voldemort Harry Potter **I already do...:/

**Harry Potter **What?!

**Voldemort **Well, something went wrong and...

**Edward Cullen **You're my own personal brand of heroin!

**Harry Potter **...WTF?!

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><p>Any reviews would be sincerely appreciated :D Thanks for reading!<p>

~RRK


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